Do Not Pass Go

I blew it today. First of all, I forgot that Cait needed the car to go to karate at the same time that I wanted to go to the grocery store. That was easily solved: I dropped her off and went to the cushy new grocery store down the street. She agreed that she’d be ready for me to pick her up in an hour, since I needed to make tea sandwiches for a baby shower later that afternoon. However, when I went to pick her up, she was not ready, and I got pretty pissy about it. When she finally got a word in edqewise, it turned out that she was late for a very good reason, but by then the damage was done. We were both really upset (it’s an oft-repeated problem) feeling frustrated, misunderstood and hurt.

Turns out, that’s not a good combination for driving. I went to make a U-turn, and didn’t check my blind spot. A horn blared, tires screeched, and cars collided with a sickening metallic bang. We weren’t going fast enough for anyone to be hurt, but I was sure both cars were quite scarred from the crash.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, I pulled off onto a side street and lost it. I began sobbing hysterically with my head on the steering wheel. Cait tried to calm me down but after a minute or two, gave up, taking my wallet and going to meet the other driver. I tried to pull myself together and grabbed the registration, a pad and a pen and followed her a minute later. I wasn’t stunningly successful, greeting the poor man sobbing and sniffling, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He was reasonably obliging, considering that I had just pulled a lunatic move in front of him, endangering all of our lives and damaging both cars (relatively minor, but even minor damage costs at least $500 per car these days). We exchanged information and agreed that we’d try to resolve the damage without getting involved with insurance, if possible.

Eventually Cait and I got home, where I proceeded to be a blubbering, snotty mess for quite some time. Despite the colossal mountain of homework looming over her head – and the fact that I had been the asshole who created all of the problems from start to finish – Cait comforted me, calmed me down, and helped me make the sandwiches for the party.

(Warning; Sappiness Ahead)

Originally, I thought I’d call this “A Bad Day,” but I’m realizing it’s not a bad day. Yes, it fucking sucks that I had a car accident, and it’s going to cost us plenty of money that we could definitely spend on other things (gee, what could I mean?). I feel like a complete loser for endangering our lives as well as anyone else who might have been on the road, and an uptight bitch for giving Cait such a hard time over being a few minutes late.

But the damage could have been far, far worse, and my wife is the most generous and loving person I know. I can’t say enough how much I love Cait and how wonderful she is. She has not said one word to blame me, instead trying to reassure me that it’s ok and shit happens. Even though she HATES talking to strangers, and had good reason to fear that the other driver might be quite unpleasant after my idiotic stunt, she went without hesitation to meet with him, and even negotiated with him when he wanted money up front to pay for the damage. I am so lucky to have found her and I am so grateful for her love on a day that otherwise would have been bad indeed.

Thank you, my love.