Posted by: thiscait | August 18, 2005

Time Warped

A year ago today, I drove my friend (a single mom by choice) home from the hospital with her baby. Jen was pregnant, and I had Lyme disease.

Today, the same friend drove me home from the hospital. Her baby is a year old. Jen is still/again pregnant, and I still have Lyme disease.

Funny how other people’s lives change and ours stay frighteningly the same.

I was in the hospital this morning to have a picc line put in my arm. For the medically blissfully ignorant, that’s a small tube that runs up a vein in my arm, ending just above my heart. It allows me to do daily IV infusions of a drug that, a little over a year ago, had me thinking I’d kicked this Lyme thing once and for all. A few days after my insurance-mandated stopping of it, symptoms began to creep back, a process that would continue through many other attempted treatments.

So, it’s a good thing that I have this back, sort of. And a sign that, a year later, maybe we’re not in exactly the same place.

Here’s my wish for a year from today: Nobody driving anyone home from a hospital, Jen not pregnant, no more Lyme. We will be exhausted from caring for a four-month-old. And we will be happy.

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Responses

  1. Mazel Tov on the meds, Cait – that ROCKS!

    And I hope, too, in a year’s time, that we ALL have littel babes in arms…

    Again, I’m sooooo happy about the meds – does this mean we can start sending sock cuffs? 🙂

  2. Thats some good wishin Cait – you know we’re here if you guys need anything.

    And I’ll second Shelli’s hope that we’ll ALL have little babies next year.

  3. Here’s to sleepless nights next summer!

    And I’m glad the med situation is looking hopeful with this addition.

  4. Keep visualizing that goal and I am sure it will happen. Best of luck to your family and hopes for a non eventful pregnancy. Insurance companies can be such a pain, they need to be more focused on helping people I think.

  5. Ahh, yes, Shelli. The armsock is indeed making a comeback this fall. When my arm and I are up to it, I’m planning an armsock photo shoot so that the wonders of this fashion statement can be shared with the world.

    (At the moment, though, my arm hurts and I have a cold, so the fashion world will just have to wait.)

    Thanks for the wishes, all. Returning love and wishes for babies for all who seek them…

  6. I have been a long-time reader, but am really curious…do none of you believe that it is important for a child to have a strong male role model in his/her life? It just seems selfish to keep a child from having that, when all of the research says how important it is. Being a teacher, I firsthand see how sad it is when a child doesn’t have a daddy.

  7. Being a teacher, I see firsthand how important it is for me to be openminded, respectful, and non-judgemental. And I see how sad it is when people are only willing to look at others through their own narrow viewpoints.

    I also see that the children who are happiest and most successful are those whose parents give them the most loving, supportive home environment they can. Those homes run the gamut from single-parent (of both genders) to grandparent, to foster parent, to two parent (male/female, female/female, and male/male).

    Our child(ren) will be raised by two loving parents who both happen to be female. There will be plenty of male role models in our children’s lives, but I happen to think that that is far less important than having caring, generous, supportive people of all types (race, religion, gender, ethnicity, hairstyle, musical preference, you name it) in their lives.

    We, like most prospective gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered parents, have thought long and hard about bring children into the world — and work incredibly hard to do so. We will continue to think carefully and work hard to raise our children to be the happiest and healthiest that they can be. We only wish that were true for all children, including some who have daddies at home.

    Anonymous, since you say you are a long-time reader, it seems to me that you must be somewhat openminded or else you wouldn’t have kept coming back. I hope you’ll do yourself and any children of non-traditional families you may have in the future a favor by educating yourself about gay and lesbian families. Reseach has shown that “there are no significant differences between kids with gay parents and kids with straight parents on a variety of psychological measures, including gender-roles, self-esteem, and more.”* Here’s what the American Psychological Association had to say most recently.

    *From COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere). http://www.colage.org/research/index.html, accessed 8/19/05.

  8. I am going to go check that out right now. Yes, I am open-minded. I have been reading a long time and didn’t know how to ask that question without sounding, well, like a jerk.

    I have a little baby girl at home and like you, want to give her the best in everything.

    …going to check site now…

  9. Wow. That was pretty amazing. I’ve never seen any exchange like that go so smoothly online. Nicely done, both of you.

  10. Anonymous, thank you for being honest and open and willing to admit the awkwardness. I hope the link was helpful, and I look forward to having you as a longtime reader. Keep asking questions (but maybe go easy on the loaded words like “selfish”).

    Best wishes to you and your family.

  11. Ok, so Cait and Jen, I am anonymous.

    I must say that I grew up in a home where homosexuality was an abomination, plain and simple. It was an “error of nature” and not to be discussed as anything more than that.

    I am now 26 and still forming my own opinions about the world (a bit late I suppose, but still trying to do this!) Anyway, I have been reading your blog for several months now, Jen and Cait, and this is the first time I have commented, I believe.

    I am impressed by your love for one another and your strong desire to have a family. I found the article you mentioned very informative.

    I am sorry to use the word selfish. After I posted that I thought to myself, “You probably shouldn’t have used such a scalding word, Rach!” Oh, the joy of click-button publishing! 🙂

    But above all, I will be following you every step of the way on your journey! I am hoping the best for you and your baby! After a twin pregnancy, losing one twin at 16 weeks and being told to abort the other twin (the doctors say there was no way she would live due to a fatal birth defect), I am now the proud mother to a little 6 month old girl.

    Once your dream is realized, you will be amazed at how the heartache is forgotten.

    Love,
    Rachel

  12. Wow, Rachel, thanks.

    Now I am humbled and impressed. It would have been so easy for you to accept the beliefs you were raised with and just keep going in your world, never looking twice at our world or trying to figure out whether the “truths” you were taught were right. But you didn’t do that, and you had the courage to stick your neck out in a way that could have really, really gotten you hurt.

    I’m so glad you did (and I’m REALLY glad that I didn’t post the first, angry things I wrote!!) so we can get to know each other.

    Your daughter is gorgeous and I am glad she has a wonderful mom like you to teach her to take the time to get to know people even if they seem very different from you on the surface. I hope Cait and I get to start teaching our own kids soon.

    Jen

    (Now I have to go find some kleenex.)


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