Posted by: thatjen | August 26, 2005

Going Bananas

It’s been a struggle to get to work on time these past two weeks (prior to that I had the luxury of summer vacation), but I’m getting closer and closer to the mark every day. Good thing, too, since the kids come back Monday, and today we had our Open House at 9:00 am, when students and parents can come check out the school and find out who their teacher will be.

Since I’ve only met a couple of parents and kids so far, and I barely even know the staff and the principal, I wanted to be there, good and ready well before 9:00 am. I’d picked out linen pants and a matching blouse, an outfit that satisfied my three diverse criteria: look respectable; fit my bloated, early but unannounced pregnant body; and give me enough freedom of movement to be able to shove boxes and furniture around after the Open House ended. No mean feat given that the weight I had already gained from stress this past year has put a lot of stress on my wardrobe – the bloat and the Goodyear Blimps breasts make it near-impossible.

I got up when the alarm went off (almost), glumly ate breakfast (food and I only seem to get along between the hours of 11 am and 4 pm, but avoiding it has BAAAAD consequences), and was almost ready to leave when I realized I needed to do a little tidying up the house in preparation for the cleaners.* I had left some bananas on the counter in a bag to ripen for banana bread.

Well, they were ripe all right. I picked up the bag by its handles and swung it toward the sink. The base of sodden paper sack disintegrated and six liquefied banana remnants hurtled toward the floor, where they landed with a loud, sloppy smack, splattering banana goo all over my bare feet AND my cream-colored, newly-ironed, comfortable yet presentable outfit of choice.

I think my cursing and wailing could be heard on the very banana plantations where the fateful fruit had grown.

*Hiring a cleaning service is one of the only intelligent things we’ve done since we decided to mix chronic illness with TTC and early pregnancy. But we do subscribe to that weird middle-class guilt thing where you have to CLEAN the house before the cleaners come. Oh well.


  1. oh, I’m soooo sorry! Waht did you end up wearing? And how late were you because of hte bananna goo?

    We have a “canadian” come every other week – it’s a wonder, and WAY cheaper than marraige counseling, so it’s TOTALLY worth it! 🙂

  2. Someone to clean stuff is definitely in our near future, if only the dog would stop getting “sick” and the condo board would stop taking my money.

    Sorry about the banana goo.

  3. We have talked about actually registering for cleaning service gift certificates for a hypothetical time in the future cause there is no way we could afford it ourselves – although my obsessing and bitchiness about how someone else cleaned my house might be worse than us stressing over it…

    So sorry about the banana attack!

    I hope things start getting easier for you guys as time goes on. Let us know if you need us to, oh, do your grocery shopping or some other kind of errand like that. We are certainly up for it.

  4. Shel, I wasn’t late, but wasn’t as early as I wanted to be. I wore a skirt and blouse which meet most of the criteria but both have horribly itchy tags. The good news is, this forced me to cut the tag out of the skirt, but upon inspection the blouse is the awful kind where the tag is sewn into the seam so you CAN’T cut it out.

    Bri, it’s so worth it. I worry if we’ll still be able to afford it after we have a kid, but I think even if we have to cut back to once a month it will be worth giving something else up.

    Jenny, I was surprised at how quickly I got used to someone else’s cleaning style. I do have to do some follow up on the grout in the bathroom every once in a while (because only a true obsessive like myself is gonna get in there with q-tips) but other than that, our cleaner is pretty damn meticulous.

    Em and Brooke have a cool registry where you can register for ANYTHING and I am sure you could do cleaning that way. I forget the site, though.

  5. Hey, Shelli, whaddaya mean, “Canadian”?

  6. I think our cleaning people have prevented at least several large fights over who does more to clean the house. I also do a pre-clean before they come because I just feel weird about them having to do my dishes.

  7. OMG! Thank you soooo much about your previous post on sp*m! I had just posted about that same topic on my blog, and asked readers for any tips they could share…

    The advice you posted will be priceless!!! Thank you!

  8. Katie – I know what you mean. Our cleaner used to have two other women working for her and they weren’t as great as she was, although they tried. If we left dishes out, they would put them in the dishwasher — without checking to see if it was clean or dirty. So for a while if we were in a rush we would hide our breakfast dishes in the fridge!!!!!

  9. Our cleaner is from Canada, so we call her “our canadian” – found her on Craigs list.

    We’ve been out of town during most of August, and she was on vacation – well, let me tell you… you sure can tell teh difference – I mean she is SOLID when it comes to dusting – I kept noticing dust in places I NEVER see it usually – just a reminder about how awesome she is!

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