Posted by: thatjen | January 16, 2006

Put the baby to bed

We had an OVERWHELMINGLY wonderful shower in Detroit and are just flattened by the love and support we are getting from so many people. More on that later with a few fun pictures….

Among our many supporters in the DC area are my dad and his new wife. She is SO excited about this baby that words really don’t describe it, and one of the first times we had dinner with them after announcing this pregnancy, she offered (without consulting my dad!) that they would buy us a crib. We looked at different cribs with her online and talked back and forth several times, finally settling on a clean, simple, pretty crib. We had decided we wanted a white crib, because all the other furniture for the room is being passed down from various sources and it’s all white (except the painted rocking chair from when I was a baby).

There was a bit of confusion prior to ordering the crib because the world of cribs, my friends, is very weird. There are tons of retailers, tons of manufacturers, and a zillion different models. Many of which are the same players with different names OR the same names on vastly different cribs. My stepmom and dad saw a crib with the right model name at the PX and wanted to know if it was the right one, so we grabbed a link off the ‘net and sent it to them to show the crib we wanted. It wasn’t, but because of the link, they knew which one we liked and ordered it. (Did you know most crib stores – online AND brick and mortar – take 3 or more MONTHS to get your crib for you?!?!).

To our delight, the online store they used has a remarkably quick turnaround and the crib arrived this weekend, just in time to add to the baby shower bounty (though in DC, thankfully not in Detroit). When we called yesterday to ask my dad if he could pick us and our collossal stack of luggage up at the airport today, he told us the crib was here! There was much rejoicing…

…until he said, “You know, that crib you want only comes in Antique White or French White or something.” And I said, “No, it definitely comes in white.” And things went downhill from there.

It turns out they ordered the crib using the link we sent them – which was to show the DESIGN of the crib, not the color (since they knew we wanted white). And that store, for some reason, doesn’t sell it in white. So the crib that’s here is blond wood. It can’t be exchanged because they don’t sell the white. Furthermore, it turns out, that model has been discontinued, so we can’t find it anywhere. AND returning the crib would cost almost $200 between shipping costs, insurance, and the Mafia-like “restocking fee”. But this was the one piece of furniture we were getting new for the baby’s room, and I really, really had my heart set on white.

We’ve spent all day 1) trying to sell the beech crib and 2) searching for a white crib that is simple, in the same price range, and IN STOCK, because we’d like the crib here before the kid, and if we have to order it, that’s iffy.

The bigger problem is, I feel like such a jerk. My dad and especially my stepmom were just trying to be nice and give something special to the baby. And the easy thing to do would be to keep the crib they bought and not make a fuss. But I know myself and I know I’d be upset at some level every time I saw it. Then I think about all the people in the world that would be grateful to have any crib for their baby to sleep in (or duh, a baby, period) and I feel like an even lousier heel. So in the middle of The Crib Accords, Part 23, I lost it completely and started blubbering in Cait’s arms for about 10 minutes.

Clearly, the one who needs the crib – regardless of color – is me.

Where we currently stand is that we were able to find a similar white crib at a local store, and have bought it. We’re still trying to sell the beech crib, so if you know anyone in the DC area looking for a pretty, natural wood crib, send ’em our way.

And I still feel like a jerk. But a jerk with a white crib. Now, where’s my teddy bear?



  1. Could you not just paint the beech crib white?

  2. Believe me, we thought about it. Unfortunately, though, that would require stripping it first since it’s already finished, which would require nasty, toxic chemicals. Obviously Jen can’t do that, and we have some question about what we could do that with that would be safe to use on a crib that a baby will ultimately be chewing on. AND, in the next few months I have to write progress reports (no small feat in a school that does narrative reports–picture a 2-3 page essay on each kid), hold conferences with each family in my class, tell the families that I’m going to be out for the spring, hold the major summative event for our work for the first half of the semester and kick off the project for the second half, figure out who’s going to be covering for me while I’m out and exactly what they’re going to be doing, finish paperwork and meeting with lawyer for second parent adoption, go to doctor in NJ, put up wallpaper border in baby’s room, move all the baby stuff in after our renter moves out, finish other painting and organizing projects and childproofing, figure out how to get shelves my dad built from Detroit to DC, paint said shelves, fix the water filter, which has again detached itself from the sink, and still manage to be a happy, cheerful teacher and partner. So, no, unfortunately painting the crib is pretty much out of the question.

    Sorry. Can you tell it’s the end of a weekend and I don’t want to go back to work tomorrow?

  3. OK… still in box? UPS pickup? Price if selling and willing to have UPS pickup? Probably way out of my price range, but still need one, and I like blonde wood! Also, there is always E-bay….

  4. Or.. a light sanding with hand held sand-paper, and paint from Killz… a paint you can mix any color and finish that is primer and paint in one… just an idea!

  5. Dudes, totally not your fault. It happens. Find yourself a teddy bear and curl up while admiring your brand new WHITE crib.

  6. Yeah, I totally see why painting is NOT an option! Good luck with all that, I don’t envy you that’s for sure…

  7. Mama-Beans or anyone else who is interested, please email us at and we’ll give you all the details.

  8. Will harpo be in the crib right away? is there some leiniancy in time, before he/she gets to sleep in said crib?

    Will you co-sleep for a bit first, or use a bassinette in your bedroom when Harpo first comes?

    OK – obviously, this is a closed issue, and I send you one teddy bear. and one big hug.

    but for future reference, PLEASE, for the love of all that is good, call your friend Shelli in NYC, who will offer her services to sand and paint the next item you need white, thus saving such heartache for the future.


  9. I’ve decided that doing up a nursery is as important and touchy a subject as planning a wedding. I mean, most people don’t put the thought that goes into decorating a nursery into any other room in any other house they will ever live in. So yeah, you’re justified in wanting a white crib. And your parents, though very well meaning and wonderful, should have double checked before ordering a color other than just plain white.

    That being said, I completely understand your feeling like a baby and a jerk for being upset.

  10. I feel the need to give some assvice today, so please take it or leave it as you wish:
    You may feel guilty, but that clearly doesn’t change your desire to get the crib you want – and that’s okay!!! It’s so easy to feel guilty about wanting what you want or having what someone else can’t have, but how does that help you or anyone else? You are allowed to be happy and to get what you want- this is a special time for you, perhaps a once-in-a-lifetime time for you. In fact, I think that one way to show you appreciate a blessing such as pregnancy is to try to enjoy it to the fullest. Also, keep in mind that everyone has their thing that they’re fussy about. For example, we never cared much about what would go in the babies’ room, but we were particular about our stroller. If yours is a white crib, then go for it!

  11. Glad you got your white crib! A similar thing happened with us and we were too lazy to do something about it and I wish we had!

  12. glad you got what YOU wanted. Totally worth the hassle to make yourself happy.
    Hurrah for lots of good baby booty!!

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