Posted by: thatjen | February 24, 2008

See What I Mean? I Can’t Even Come Up with a Title.

I must be an incredibly shallow and self-centered person because every time I go to a funeral* I end up thinking two things 1) I wish I’d known that person better and 2) Wow, I am so inadequate. I’ve never done ANYTHING like that in my life. No one is going to say anything like that at MY funeral. (Then there’s usually a side detour about what kind of memorial does a completely non-religious person have anyway? but I digress.) Or maybe it’s that I know all of these astonishing people. I don’t know.

I went to the memorial service for the mother of my best friend from high school today. I left feeling like an intellectual gnat, a cultural ignoramus, and a failure as a feminist. I *should* be thinking about my friend’s mom, and the loss my friend is enduring. Instead, I am fueling my inadequacy by blowing off a meeting I should be attending and sitting on the couch in a self-centered, melancholy funk.

In that whole circle of life thing, Cait and Natalie spent the afternoon at a baby shower.

*except my stepmother’s memorial. Then I thought about what a lousy daughter I’d been.

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